Anyways, I have been reading 2 books simultaneously (yeah, I know...sometimes I am weird that way...:)). I have been switching between "Life Without Limits" by Nick Vujivic and "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. Both are really good books and have made me reflect on a lot of things.
I know that despite my best efforts to move forward, I still have bouts of dwelling in the past and dwelling on unanswered questions. But I need to look forward to the possibility of something better and something more exciting waiting for me just around the corner. Yes, my 2015 is not turning out to be what I want it to be. But there is another 7 months to go, who knows what may happen, right? One thing is for sure, if I continue to stay in this funk of mine then it is almost a certainty the remainder of 2015 is not going to be so great either. Below are some excerpts from "Life Without Limits" which I found so true :-
"I have a choice. You have a choice. We can choose to dwell on disappointments and shortcomings. We can choose to be bitter, angry or sad. Or when faced with hard times and hurtful people, we can choose to learn from the experience and move forward, taking responsibility for our own happiness."
"Some injuries heal more quickly if you keep moving. The same is true of setbacks in life. Perhaps you lose your job. A relationship might not work out. Maybe the bills are piling up. Don't put your life on hold so that you can dwell on the unfairness of past hurts. Look instead for ways to move forward. Maybe there is a better job awaiting you that will be more fulfilling and rewarding. Your relationship may have needed a shake-up, or maybe there is someone better for you. Perhaps your financial challenges will inspire you to fine new creative ways to save and build wealth.
You can't always control what happens to you. There are some occurrences in life that are not your fault or within your power to stop. The choice you have is either to give up or to keep on striving for a better life. My advice is to know that everything happens for a reason and in the end good will come of it. "
Nick Vujicic's words above offer a measure of comfort to me. It reminds me of the ME that used to be more positive. More optimistic. The Me that used to have so much faith that everything happens for a reason.
From today onwards I a going to try my best to move forward and take responsibility for my happiness. I choose not to be bitter, angry or sad (ok, maybe not being bitter or angry is easier. Am definitely going to have to work harder on not being sad!). I guess the saying "that people can only hurt you if you let them" also holds true to some extent. But easier said than done I guess. Sometimes we can't control our emotions. But what we can do is to make sure that we don't stay hurt for long.
I may not see the bigger picture right now of why things with my ex ended up like this. But I do see small measures of it. It taught me the importance of being patient. To think before I react to a situation. It also made me realise certain things about myself and what I want out of life and relationships. It made me see things in a different way. I may not see the sense in why after having gone through 35 years of life blessed with good health (at the every most I catch a cold or come down with a cough twice a year!) I am all off a sudden confronted with so many health issues, but I do know one thing - life does not throw at you more than you can handle.
