Here in Bali

From Bali with Love

I am writing this post at midnight, alone in my room at the villa in Bali. It is raining outside and I find the sound of the rain calming and soothing. At the background I have got "Deliver Me" by Sarah Brightman and "Silence" by Delerium feat. Sarah McLachlan playing on repeat. Suits my mood at the moment. Everyone else has gone to bed and I am the only one still up.

It's Day 2. We are spending the first 2 days in Ubud before moving over to Legian tomorrow. It has been an 'interesting' trip so far. Another life experience that will shape who I am in the future.  But on the bright side I am loving our villa.

Villa Alke, Ubud

So, we got in yesterday and my ex arrived in Bali at around the same time. Leading up to the meeting, I was wondering if I would feel anything when I see him. I was feeling somewhat apprehensive. I was hoping that I would not feel any sadness when I saw him. Thankfully I didn't. But there were moments when I can't help but wonder how funny life turns out at times. Here was this trip planned as a couples' vacation and look what it is turning out to be. He greeted our friends with a hug so I guess he had no choice but to give me one as well. But after that he was just cordial at best.

Throughout the next 2 days he gave me the impression that my presence just annoyed him. I limit my interaction with him. When we are out I talk mostly to our friends and only to him when I need to. When left alone with him I try to make conversation but all that I get in return are monosyllabic replies. I treat him the same way I would treat my friends, meaning with the same consideration etc, but somehow it feels like I just annoy him. I really am going to need all the patience I can to get through the remaining 7 days and 6 nights of this trip.

Where did it all go wrong? I know we broke up, but that does not change who I am or who he is, right? What happened to the 2 people who could talk and banter so easily? Now we are like total strangers who can barely communicate. Just feels like he can barely tolerate me. Maybe it is my imagination but am pretty sure it is not.

I guess we shall see how long my patience will last....hahahaha....will be a test of sorts for me I guess. I am off to lose myself in my book (Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruis Zafon), which is pretty much what I have been doing when back at the villa.

Nites.