Another year is upon us....

How time flies. 2016 has just whizzed by at the speed of light and before I knew it 2017 is here!!! As it is we are already halfway into the first month of the year.

What did I achieve in 2016? Here is a look back at my first post of 2016 (http://sinfullyblack.blogspot.my/2016/02/2016-here-i-come.html). As you already know I did manage to make my dream of visiting the States a reality (will save that for another post).

As for the other stuff....I don't think I did so well in the spend less and save more department...LOL. My relationship status is still the same. There was a small glimmer of hope towards the end of 2016, but that didn't pan out and has left me feeling bummed out ever since then. More than a year ago, I met a guy online. He is from the States and initially we were chatting quite a fair bit but it eventually became a once a week "Hi, how are you" kind of a thing. He was the one who pulled back so I let it be. So imagined my surprised when he came up to New York to see me. He spent the weekend with me there showing me around before he had to go back to DC for work. As the Smithsonian was always a place I wanted to visit I had planned a trip to DC as well. I spent my entire trip in DC with him. He asked if I could cancel my hotel and stay with him instead. I even extended my stay in DC by a couple of days at his request. All in all including the weekend in NYC, we spent a total of 10 days together but when I left we weren't quite sure what we were and we just said we would see where things lead. During the 10 days he was nothing short of great and it felt too good to be true. He made every effort to ensure that I saw all the sights that I wanted to see and to show me an insider's view to NYC and DC.

However after I left, things didn't go as well. We weren't communicating as much. At the very most I get a couple of messages from him a day and he usually disappears mid-sentence without any explanation. It kinda felt like he just fit me in whenever he was not at work or out. I spoke to him about this and it felt like he wanted to try still. But nothing changed and I finally got annoyed after an incident before Christmas. I had bought him a Christmas present and had it delivered to him. The delivery status stated that the package was left at the lobby of his apartment building so I had to message him to keep an eye out for it. He didn't bother to reply so I just assumed he was out. By midnight I still have not heard back from him and I messaged him again and said hey I am just gonna assume that you are at home and that you have gotten the package. I already know for a fact that he read my earlier messages and that he had gotten home already a couple of hours after my initial message to him (his skype only logs on when he switches on his laptop at home). I also told him I don't know why he is choosing to ignore my messages. He also read that email but didn't reply. The next morning he finally replied and said that his phone battery had died when he was out and that yes he got the package. He also said that he wants to take the weekend off and he is concerned that I can't seem to accept things the way it was and that it is hard enough without him constantly feeling like he is letting me down or causing me undue angst. Anyways, I got mad and wrote back an email in anger basically pointing out that it is not unrealistic for a girl to expect the guy to acknowledge a gift from her and that even if his phone ran out of juice when he was out, if he really wanted to he could have still messaged me when he got home and charged up his phone or switched on his laptop. Anyways, I didn't hear back from him after that and after the weekend I messaged him to apologise for the tone of the email. He didn't respond so I asked if we could talk to which he didn't respond either so I finally wrote to him and said that I guess he is done and dusted with the whole thing and that I am someone that he rather forget about. He then finally replied and said that he was not intentionally ignoring me but that he was just processing things. He also said he will be with his family (his parents) over the Christmas hols and that he just wanted to wish me a merry christmas. I thought his email just meant that he still needed time and space to think things through. A week later after New Year's I still did not hear back from him so I wrote to him saying that I thought his last email meant that we would speak eventually but I have not heard from you in awhile. I also said to him that he knows how to reach out to me if he feels like it but if you don't then I guess I know where you stand. I never heard back from him.

I am still struggling to come to terms with everything. I know it was not a significant relationship and I have been wondering why I am so hung up over him. I have a thousand and one questions in my mind. Him walking away without a word left me without any closure or explanation. It made me wonder how did I peg him so wrong? I never though he was someone who is so immature or would chose a coward's way out of an uncomfortable situation. And I questioned if he ever did like me at all. My gut feeling when I was in NYC and DC didn't tell me that he was playing with me. I honestly felt that he was being genuine.

It puzzles me how men can so easily switch their emotions on and off. One minute you were doing all these things for me, showing me how much you like me and the next you can just turn around and ignore me. I guess what hurts the most is that no matter what those 10 days would always mean something to me but for him it looks like it means absolutely nothing at all. And because he walked away without an explanation I can't help but wonder was it me? I can't help but wonder if I had been more patient, would his feelings eventually develop into something more which would then make him put in more effort or was I always  just a game to him right from the beginning?

I have spent so much time trying to understand why I am so affected by what happened. It was not as though it was a long term relationship that ended.

Maybe that is why I am so bummed out? I don't know. Maybe it was the thought of losing a "hope". A hope that maybe just maybe you have met someone that you connected with and felt the same way about you. Or maybe I am feeling so hurt cause I thought he really liked me and for him to now act so callously shows that he never really cared at all. Guess I will never know the answer.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!!!!

Although Malaysia does not celebrate this day, I personally think that any great man should be celebrated regardless of whether he is from that country or not. 

He was a man who was well ahead of his time. He was never afraid to stand up for what he believed in. He is a man that I wish still existed today. Even more so now than ever we have to stand for something or fall for nothing. In the words of the great man himself "Our Lives Begin to End the Day We Become Silent About the Things That Matter".

Heading to New York, New York!

My updates are looooooonnnnggg overdue. But things at work have been crazy busy. Anyways, here is an update of what has been going on in my life.....

New York, New York - a city so nice they named it twice! I am finally going to New York!!! Have gotten my US Visa. Plane ticket booked. Hotels sorted. I am super super excited that this long awaited trip is finally happening.

I will be travelling solo for the first time and I am extremely looking forward to the adventure that awaits! A trip where I get to be totally selfish. I can do what I want, whenever I want without having to worry if everyone else is ok with it. Totaly unadulterated freedom!

Apart from that nothing else much has been happening. Definitely nothing new on the relationship front. Had not had a date in ages and no one has really struck my fancy.

On the job front, I have quit my job. It has become hopeless working here. The lack of support and understanding from the Management has made it incredibly hard for the project to be a success. So I am now currently serving out my 3 months notice period. My last day is on 8th November 2016, right before my trip to NYC. I can now go on my break without having to worry about work.

Fingers crossed, there is a particular job that I am eyeing. Really hoping that I get it. Don't wanna say much yet as I don't want to jinx it. But wish me luck!!!

Definitely visiting Chiangmai again

Can't believe it is been two weeks since I got back from my vacation. Definitely definitely definitely visiting Chiangmai again! Although I didn't do much this trip I definitely loved the vibe that I was getting from the place.

We went there to celebrate my mother's 70th birthday as a family. Only one missing was my second sister (who couldn't make it as she lives all the way in Sydney and had just come back for a holiday in December).

We mostly spent the trip just exploring the markets (night market, food market, Sunday market) and checking out the shopping malls in Chiangmai. My parents have been there before so they have done all the touristy thing like visiting the temples etc so they didn't want to do that all over again.

There are plenty to do though in Chiangmai. If you a adventurous and love sports then you can spend a day riding ATVs, zorbing, zip-lining or even white water rafting! Chiang Rai is just a couple of hours' drive away and there are plenty of guides that can take you there for a day trip. Apparently the White Temple there is a must see! If you are a lover of Thai food you can even spend a day learning how to cook Thai food from scratch. Can't wait to try out all that when I visit again....whenever that will be!

Crowdfunding

I started a crowdsourcing campaign to try and raise additional funds for my long awaited and long anticipated trip to New York City. I thought to myself, what is the harm in trying right? With the encouragement of a friend, I finally got around to doing it.

You can access my campaign at NYCDebs. If you are feeling generous please feel free to contribute towards my campaign...:) Even a small gesture of USD10 is good enough...:P If you are feeling less generous then how about a USD1 or USD 5 contribution..:P

Gracias, in advance...and have a great SUNDAY!

Time for a Short Vacay!

I am looooooooooonnnnnggggg overdue for a break and I am finally about to take one. Headed off to Chiangmai this coming weekend to celebrate my Mum's 70th birthday. Sooooo looking forward to it. Would have much prefer a beach vacay but then any vacay is better than none!

Also bought myself a new camera - the Canon Power Shot G7X. Been wanting to get a good camera for ages. Finally parted with my hard earn moolah to buy this baby. Hoping to get some nice shots in Chiangmai.

Have a great weekend peeps!!!!

New York Dreaming

Yay!! Bonus time is here. My company has paid out our annual bonus and I really can't complain about it. I am a happy girl indeed. That bonus has now put me that one step closer to realising my dream of visiting New York! Apart from the bonus that I have deposited into FD accounts, to-date I have been given USD1 to kick start my USA holiday fund. Feel free to ask for my account number if you want to contribute towards my fund...:P

I am still trying to decide on a right time to go and how long to go for. Would really love to go during Christmas time but that is when things get expensive. Definitely do not want to be there during summer. Hmmm........

2016 - Here I Come!!!!

Another year has come to an end and a new year has begun. How fast time flies. 2015 felt like it has gone by in the blink of an eye.

2015 started off as a year of many "wants". I wanted a lot of things to get better for me and I really can't complain about how the year turned out. So that left me wondering about what to anticipate for 2016. I have been asking myself, what do I want to achieve in 2016? Which aspect of my life do I want to see an improvement or change in? I could only think of one - my relationship status! Don't get me wrong, I would still rather stay single than settle for someone who is not right for me but I have always been more of a relationship person than a casual dating kinda girl. So I ponder my fate and try to figure out my chances of that happening. At this age it is getting harder and harder to meet people around my age group who are neither married nor attached. Also, having dated plenty of Asian men here, I am beginning to draw the conclusion that I don't click as well with them as opposed to Asian men who were born and raised in a western country. I know this may sound absurd to some, but it is true. Asian men here tend to be more chauvinistic and would still much rather prefer their women to be on the submissive end. Oh well, let's see what 2016 has in store for me on the relationship front.

What are my resolutions for the year? Or rather what do I hope to accomplish this year? Here is my WIP list :-

• Visit USA (specifically New York! New  York!)
• Spend less, save more
• Be Happy!
• Don't sweat the small stuff

Let's see how I fare as the year progresses.....

Side note : I actually started this blogpost in the first week of January 2016 but was so busy with work that I didn't have time to complete my thoughts and finish it....and before you know it February has crept up on me! See what I mean? Time really does fly!

Officially 36

So I officially turned 36 on Sunday, 15 November 2015. It was a weekend filled with celebrations which more or less kicked off on Thursday. I am truly blessed to have had so many people who celebrated this occasion with me..:)

So now that the celebrations are over and things have settled down, I guess it's time to reflect for a bit. The saying goes "One year older, one year wiser". Hmmm...if I wonder if that rings true for me. In some ways I guess it does. I have gotten wiser about life but there is still so much more for me to learn.

Apart from starting a new job, it has been a relatively uneventful year for me, but it has definitely been a more positive year. I am in a good place in my life and am looking forward to what the coming year will bring.

I may not have achieved all my goals or be where I thought I would be but, such is life right? We just have to go with the flow and learn not to let things get you down. So here is me looking forward to another great year. Great things may not happen but how the year turns out is all up to me, right?

Live, Laugh, Love

How time flies. Just realised that it has been awhile since I last updated my blog. Work has been so busy lately. Between that and juggling my fashion blog, I barely have time to update this one.

November is upon us. In 10 days' I will turn 36 (shudder), but age is just a number, right? Truth be told I am in a better place this year than I was a year ago. I think I was kinda lost last year after what was a not so great year. But I have grown so much over the past year and my old self is back - better than ever. I have my faith back and hope grows eternal...:) I guess the saying is true - one year older, one year wiser.

To  mark this milestone and to serve as a reminder to myself to never get lost, I got myself my third ink.

Cake By The Ocean by DNCE

This is my new happy song. It has been playing over and over and over again on my player!!! Loving it!!! It makes me wanna grooveeeee.....

We have Graduated!

Phew! We have graduated from our CrossFit starter course! One gruelling month of classes held twice a week, but it was fun. There were plenty of aches and sores and complains from us each day after class but we still kept going back for more and we will continue to go back for more! We are signing up for the 3 months membership - call us suckers for pain but, oh well!

Fashion & Style Blog

I FINALLY launched my fashion & style blog. After much hard work and plenty of delays (due to things picking up at work), I got it done and it is now up and running. I don't know if it will take off or not but it is something that I love doing so at least I get satisfaction from that...:)

If you are into fashion or just need some fashion and style tips, you can check out my blog at Your Style Concierge. Hope you like it! You can also follow me on Instragram, Pinterest, Tumblr & Twitter!

It's My Life!

The last time Bon Jovi held a concert in Malaysia was 20 years ago! After making me wait THAT long for another concert they finally performed in Stadium Merdeka on 19th September 2015.

At 53 years old, Mr. Jon Bon Jovi is still looking pretty damn good! The band did a great job of engaging the crowd. Those at the VVIP and VIP section were definitely rocking away to their songs. Unfortunately the area where I was at, the crowd mostly sat throughout the whole concert only chiming in to sing to the more familiar tunes of Living on a Prayer and It's My Life. I, of course, was having none of that! I stood by the railings at the stand and was singing to every single song of theirs!

He did require more effort to hit the higher notes in some of his songs though, and songs like Always and I'll Be There For You was completely left out ot his concert set-list but all in all the concert was awesome!!! How can it not be? It is Bon Jovi after all!! ROCK ON \m/

Cross Fit

I have recently decided that it is time I got fit. Whilst I have been blessed with a pretty good metabolism rate and can eat anything I want without putting on much weight I still wish that I had a leaner body. Plus the results of my medical check-up have never been good : high cholestorol, high uric acid and low calcium levels.

So I finally decided to do something about it - to change my dietary habits and to start exercising more. First, I started by drinking more water. On a good day I usually get by on 1 litre of water. I have now increased it dramatically and try to drink at least 3 litres per day. I have also cut down on my consumption of Coke (sigh....this is the hardest part). I now allow myself only one or two per week. I used to drink 1 per day! I have also reduced my consumption on unhealthy junk food. My breakfast now also consist of healthier choices such as  Ok, that is as far as I have gotten for now. Will try to eat more greens soon! Oh well, baby steps...:)

I am also trying to reduce my alcohol consumption as it has been affecting my sleep of late. After 3 glasses or so I will have difficulty falling into a deep sleep. I am someone who can get by on 4 hours of sleep as long as those 4 hours are good solid hours of sleep.

As for the exercise department, I am a person who loves cardio more than I do weights. So it was easy for me to increase the frequency of my runs but extremely difficult for me to get started on weights. The solution? Sign up for classes! What class did I sign up for? CROSS FIT! I rounded up 3 other friends and we are now on the course for starters which  consist of 2 classes per week for 4 weeks. I have to say I  am loving it so far. The 1st class was really easy but the second one was a real killer which left me with arms that ached for 3 solid days! But it was a nice kind of pain. Hahaha....masochistic much?

WISH ME LUCK!

Happy Birthday Malaysia!

Today my country, Malaysia, celebrated her 58th birthday...:) It was a bittersweet day for Malaysia as 2 days prior a rally was held in the capital city of Kuala Lumpur. The rally was dubbed Bersih 4.0. Bersih means clean in the English language.

Over the years, the people of Malaysia has slowly begun to find their voice. They are now more willing to speak up when they are dissatisfied with something. They used to have the mentality that someone else will deal with it. The rally was the 4th installment of rallies that have been held over the years. The ruling government has been in power ever since Malaysia's independence and there no longer exists the proper check and balances to ensure a democracy. There is no longer the crucial separation of powers between the Legislative, Executive and Judicial arm. The government no longer holds themselve accountable to the people who elected them.

There are still those who says "What is the poing of rallying? It's not going to change anything." That is the mentality that frustrates the hell out of me. If everyone adopts that attitude that change will never happen. Change takes time. I am not under any illusion or that naive to believe that change will happen overnight, but we have to start somewhere right?

If you do not know what the Bersih rally is about, go Google it up. It is too long to get into here and will probably bore you to death. But the gist of it is to ask for clean elections (where a government is there by winning the popular vote, not by gerrymandering). justice and freedom of speech.

But the rallies also reminded us about the true spirit of Malaysians. The theme for this year's Merdeka (independence) celebration was "Sehati, Sejiwa" which means "One Heart, One Soul", which is ironic seeing as the government has been doing it's best to creat discord amongst the races (mainly between the Malays and the Chinese). At the rally people from all walks of life and from all races marched on together. Whatever differences they had, they put aside. For those 2 days they only had one aim, one goal, one vision. On that day, there were Malaysians (not Malays, not Chinese, not Indians, but Malaysians). They stood tall, they stood proud and most importantly they stood united.

The Great Tinder Experiment

Ok. So I did it. I joined the online dating community. I actually signed up for Tinder and OK Cupid. What transpired left me in stitches.

Let's review Tinder first. Am definitely not surprised that Tinder is used more for hook-ups then for anything else. You don't really get to write much about yourself. You are only given 500 words or so to describe yourself and everything else is based on the photos that you post on Tinder. Since I was not gonna pay for Tinder Plus,  I could only search for those who are within 100 km of where I am. For those of you who don't know how Tinder works, you will be shown a bunch of pictures. If you swipe right it means you like them. If you swipe left it means you have no interest in the guy. So if a guy that you swiped right too also swiped right on your photo, then you guys can start chatting. I don't mean to diss Malaysian men but honestly some of the photos posted just left me wondering about what those guys were thinking! If you were gonna go on a dating site, you could choose a better photo. Some of them look downright sloppy! Needless to say, I didn't swipe right to any of the guys. Call me superfical to judge someone based on looks, but on Tinder that's all you can do!

So, next I went on to OK Cupid (or OKC for short). So for this, you are given a bunch of questions to answer as part of your profile. It may not tell you the whole story about the other person. In fact it could all even be a bunch of lies. But it can at least give you a sense of whether that person has a sense of humor or is even remotely interesting. Based on your answer, OKC will then match you with guys who they think could be a good match for you. You can limit your search to your area or you can even search worldwide. I find OKC a much more interesting and effective dating app. Not that I actually went on any dates. I just found it interesting to read the profiles on it. But I have definitely drawn a conclusion. There is a huge difference between the Chinese that are born and raised in Asian countries and those who are born and raised in western countries. Here are some of them :-

(a) the AC (Asian Chinese) always try to get the conversation started with pick-up lines, some of which are so damn cheesy. The Western Chinese (WC) will just generally ask you how your day was etc.
(b) the ACs don't take that much pride in what they wear and somehow lacks a certain level of confidence. The WCs are well dressed even when in jeans and a plain t-shirt and their self-assurance always comes across in the photos.
(c) the AC's lack individualism and their profiles are usually a bore to read. The profiles of a WC are generally more humourous and interesting to read.

I may be over-generalising but the above is what I discovered as well in my interactions here in Malaysia with the Chinese as compared to my interactions with the British born Chinese from my days in the UK.

I find that I identify better with the WCs than the ACs. My personality and character is quite strong and most ACs don't really like those qualities in their girls. Oh well, C'est la Vie!

Heroes by Alesso Feat. Tove Lo

Check this song out by Alesso feat. Tove Lo. Love it cause I am a different kind...:) 

Everyday people do everyday things but I

Can't be one of them

I know you hear me now, we are a different kind

We can do anything

New Addition to the Family

There is a new addition to the family and he is super cute! His name is Simba and he is a 7 week old toy poodle.

To be perfectly honest, the arrival of Simba was greeted with mixed feelings. Our last dog, Vader, died a year ago and my mum and I said no more dog. My dad however, immediately wanted to go out and get another dog. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs but I work full time and I didn't want my mum to have to end up looking after another dog. It's time she had a break from always having to care for someone or something. 

The first week was really tense on the home front. My dad didn't quite live up to his promise that he would be the one taking care of the dog and my mum got left with trying to toilet train it, cleaning up the dog's poo and stuff, feeding it and bathing it. She got pretty frustrated and finally voiced out her frustrations. My mum will avoid confrontation if possible so she mostly keeps her frustrations to herself. Anyways, after that they worked out a schedule. I try to help out whenever possible but since I am working full time, I am not really at home much.

Anyways, my mum is sucker for a cute face so it is not surprise that she has fallen in love with Simba. Just check out his cute little face, it is hard not too!

Been a little quiet

I know I have been pretty quiet of late. Work has been pretty busy and my social calendar has been preettttyyy hectic as well, both of which are good things I guess!

Anyways, will write more soon!

Till then,
XOXO