#LoveWins

Yay for love! A new landmark ruling passed by the Supreme Court of the US of A has legalized gay marriage nationwide. This historic ruling has not exactly found favor in all quarters though. It certainly has gotten everyone talking. From my Facebook newsfeed alone I can see the divided opinions of my friends and acquaintances. As for me, I am 100% in favor of the decision and applaud the 5 supreme court judges for their courage in doing so. Thanks to them the gay community in the USA can now enjoy the same rights that heterosexuals do.

You may have a different viewpoint from me and that is ok. But hear me out. 

What is so wrong with allowing gay marriage? Does it create social ills? I don't see how it does. Most importantly how does a union between two homosexuals affect you and your life? I don't see how it does. It may offend your sensitivities but that is your problem, not theirs.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I do not believe that our sexual orientation is a choice that we make in our life. We don't wake up one day and go "Oh, I think I am going to be gay from this day forward." I believe that we are born to be what we are. Those who use religion as an argument seems to use it to their advantage whenever it pleases them (one of the reasons why I have stayed away from any religion).  I thought most religions preach tolerance, understanding and love. I thought most religion teaches you not to judge others.

In any event, what right do we have to deny others their happiness? What right do we have to deny others their right to a fulfilling relationship that ends in marriage? Straight or gay, as long as the union is between two consulting adults, I don't see how that is anyone else's business but theirs.

Picture courtesy of the Associated Press - Evan Vucci

#LoveWins

Too beautiful to not share

Came across this on Pinterest (love that site!) and it was just too beautiful not to share! To my friends who are stuck with a partner who is not treating you well, to all of you out there who are settling for less, let this be a reminder to you about the way you deserved to be loved. Remember this - if you never let go of the the wrong one, you will never find the right one. 

Call me naive....

Do you believe in fairytales and happily ever after? Well, I do. Call me naive, but there is nothing wrong in wanting the best that you deserve. Why settle for anything less? I am not saying that I believe in Mr. Perfect. But I do believe in Mr. Right. Below is an article that I came across in The Elite Daily. Don't take it too literally but the gist of the article is something that we should all strive for when it comes to relationships.

Why You Deserve Someone Who Will Give You The World And Nothing Less

BY SONYA MATEJKO
There are many things we may settle for in life: the meal that has fewer calories, the bad job in the right city or maybe the clothes on the sale rack. The one thing we should never settle for, however, is love.

There are many average things in life, but love should not be one of them. Through the masses of mediocre, common and run-of-the-mill things that we experience day by day, love should certainly defy them all.

We should never settle for someone who could walk away and not turn back. We should never settle for someone who doesn’t recognize what he is holding when embracing our hands or someone who doesn’t remind us every day of how much we mean to him.

What you truly deserve, well, is everything.

What you deserve is someone missing you the moment you walk out the door, even if you’ll only be gone a moment.

You deserve someone who may not believe in fairytales, but who treats you like a princess simply because that’s what you are to him.

You deserve someone who will challenge you instead of just giving in. Someone who will share his honest thoughts with you because you’re going to share your honest lives together; yet, someone who knows how to forgive and to be happy instead of right.

You deserve that epic passion that “50 Shades of Grey” doesn’t even cover: a spark that never goes dim, eyes that only turn to you and the need to feel your touch whenever you’re around. You deserve a passion that awakens your inner being and intertwines your hearts into one.

You deserve to always feel wanted, to never doubt for a moment how your significant other feels about you.

You deserve to never waver for a second that the future consists of you together, both looking forward. You deserve the safety that encompasses you like a wave, sometimes in a swell, but forever coasting.

You deserve every birthday remembered and every holiday embraced. You deserve effort behind any gift, even if it’s a flower picked up from the sidewalk on the way home.

You deserve a thought behind every word, especially when saying goodbye. You deserve letters, notes and Post-Its that remind you how special you are to him on any given day.

You deserve to be held with tenderness. You deserve that earth-shattering kiss; the one that you need to stay alive and the one that is your sole nourishment for survival.

It breaks all bounds and you lose yourself in it every time. Your mind can’t find the difference between present, past and future because in that moment, time does not exist. You’re adrift between the taste of love and the feeling of forever.

You deserve to be introduced to friends as if you were the rarest thing on earth. You deserve to be brought into a room with pride in hand that he is so blessed to be standing beside you.

You deserve someone who would always choose the seat next to you and would never need to brag about how lucky he is because anyone could see it clearly in his face when he looks at you.

You deserve something that isn’t easy; a love that is hard, but you tough it out together. You learn through your battles and you start to fight them together.

You stand your ground, but you stand beside each other doing so. You deserve to be tested in your limits because it’s at the edge where you discover the greatest faith.

You deserve a true and epic love, nothing short of the above. You deserve to be someone’s dream come true, never someone’s afterthought. You deserve to walk on air and walk on fire at the same time because the very best things in life are not easy.

Yes, you deserve it all, but that person out there in the world deserves it, too. He deserves the girl in his arm to encompass everything he ever wanted.

You yourself must justify the love you think you deserve. So be the person that deserves the world, and the world will bring you that love.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that if the guy does not leave you love notes, you should ditch him. But honestly the one thing I have come to realise is that I shouldn't be the only one in the relationship who feels lucky to be with the guy I am with. The guy too should feel lucky to have me. Not just lucky when things are going well, but lucky to have me even with all my flaws and imperfection. To stay and fight with me to make things work no matter how difficult the relationship may get.

All I am saying is, don't settle. Don't settle for less than your expectations. Don't settle for a guy who does not think the world of you. Don't settle for a guy who does not love you the way you deserved to be loved. Don't settle for a guy who would not fight for your love. Don't settle for a guy who would not fight for your relationship.

Gone with the hair

Finally got myself a hair cut yesterday. It is so hard to catch an appointment with my hairstylist as he is hardly ever around! Been wanting to cut it ever since before I went to Bali, so you can only imagine how long I have been waiting for this.

Strangely, a hair cut always makes me feel so much better, especially after going  through some sort of turmoil in my life. Chopping off the hair is somehow symbolic of cutting off the bad stuff. With each snip of the scissors, with each falling strand of hair, it feels as though the weight is also slowly falling off my shoulders. It's funny isn't it how life works?

So what do you think of my new shorter hair?

Reflections

A couple of days ago I had the sweetest message from my friend. You remember the girl that I mentioned that was moving over to Germany? This is what she said to me :

"Thank you for being such a good friend to me. I am glad that she knows me and wishes that I will get what I am looking for someday."

I too have been extremely fortunate to have her as a friend. I like her straight talking way and her honesty. A true friend is someone who tells you the truth even when it hurts. 

She then asked me if I am over my ex. I don't know if I am 100% over the whole thing (be it him or the relationship or the break-up) but I do know the I am no longer engulfed by an overwhelming sense of loneliness. I still remember my last trip to KL and despite having a roomate at the hotel and subsequently staying with my sister, all I wantd to do was to come home to my own room in my own home. But this trip, eventhough I was the only one staying at the hotel, I was perfectly fine. I didn't feel overwhelmed by my situation or by loneliness.

She said she was glad that I met my ex and went through what I went through cause it made me realise what I really wanted. And it's true. It made me take a deeper and longer look at myself and where my life was headed. Through it all I am slowly finding my way back to me. I have always been a positive person. The type of girl who always believe that everything happens for a reason. The girl who always sees the silver lining in every cloud. The kind of girl who will never settle for anything less. But in 2013 and 2014 I kinda lost my way. I lost who I was. I became a tad bit cynical and walls were built around me. And I settled. I settled for relationships where I couldn't really get hurt that badly. I settled for relationships where there no expectations of long term commitment.

With my ex, I let the walls come down. I opened myself up. I got hurt pretty bad. But knowing that I can get hurt and I still came out of it ok is a reminder of how strong I am. How strong I have always been. It gives me hope. I am getting my faith back and I don't feel the need to runaway from my problems. I can face them head on and still walk away standing.

I have recovered my faith that got lost along the way. My faith that everything happens for a reason. My faith in fate - that fate has a plan for me. My faith in faith itself.

So yes, the break up hurt. Yes it took me awhile to start healing from it. It took me awhile to finally let go of him. But I wouldn't change a thing.

My Lemonade Project

Yay! My Lemonade Project (a.k.a. my style blog) finally has a name!! Took me a while to come up with it but finally it has a name. Now I can start working on designing it. Am super duper excited. This is going to be so much fun. I already have a colour scheme in mind as well a what my site should look like.

Gotta love the internet and technology these days. It makes setting up websites so much easier. Found this really cool online web design tool. It is called WIX and it is amazing! It allows a beginner like me to create a beautiful website. Will keep you posted on the progress of my style blog...:)

 Cheers!!! Celebrating My Lemonade Project

Back in my own little room again

Aaahhh....back in my own bed, in my own little room again. Got in from KL a tad bit late. Since I followed a friend's car back from KL, we made a pit-stop for dinner. Dinner was a delicious steamboat meal (a.k.a. hotpot) that left me a happy and well-fed girl. The soup was yam and fish based and was soooooooooo sweet and flavorful.

One of my favorite meals

 

I woke up this morning to thighs and legs that were screaming in protest at having been made to run so much yesterday. Obviously, they are not used to hard work! I guess sashaying around in high heels does not count as exercise! I hope that they ache a little less tomorrow. Right now, every step I take is an effort and to top it all off, I am coming down with the cold....AGAIN! It is the second time in less than 2 months. Am  using up my quota of sickness for the year!

So I guess I better hustle off to bed and get some rest...NITES!

Fun and Games

Am in KL again for the weekend. Heading back later today. Am down for my company's Family Day. It was plenty of fun. I participated in the Amazing Race challenge but sadly my team didn't win. It rained the night before so the grounds was all soggy and muddy on event day. This was how my gorgeous Nike shoes started out....

 Before

And this is how it ended up looking by the end of the day...

 After

I know...should have been smarter than to wear beige colour suede shoes but the weather in Penang was so hot and dry I didn't expect it to be so wet in KL. Anyways, the highlight of my day was meeting this cute little goat. There was a mini petting zoo and the goat just caught my eye. I just had to take a picture with him...

Just noticed that we got photobombed by another goat!

I didn't manage to walk away with any of the lucky draw prizes....oh well....am used to that! But regardless I had loads of fun at the Family Day! 

Doing just fine

Sorry. I know I have been MIA for the past couple of days. Had a bad headache which lasted for 2 days. I think it is leading up to me falling sick. Feel a cold coming. Damn. Anyways, the headache is gone, so here I am.

Today, I decided to do a kind of a progress check - to see how far I have come since the break-up. I know. I know. Some of you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking here we go again. Will this girl shut up and get over it already!

I think there finally is some real progress. The memories still surface every now and then but I realised that it does not hurt as much to remember them. The hurtful memories are fading away into the background. The good ones remain and it does not make my heart ache as much as it used to. After the Bali trip the memories of what we used to have would make my heart ache so bad and the memories from the Bali trip would leave a bitter taste in my mouth. Now, I have made peace with the past and those same memories do not stir up such strong emotions in me anymore. I guess each person that comes into your life, regardless of whether they stay for a short time only or for a longer period of time, leaves a mark on you. Every experience leaves an impression.

I am glad to know that I am finally healing. I hate it when I am unhappy and I get extremely frustrated with myself when I can't pick myself up fast enough. But time will always work its magic and over time, everything will get better. I may not be mended back 100% but that's fine by me. No one is perfect. Everyone is broken in some way or another.

Tumblr

Ooohh....I finally got myself a Tumblr account. It's not very big here in Malaysia but I wanted to see what the fuss is all about. Anyways, if you have a Tumblr account, add me! I am having fun exploring it so far.

Busy, busy, busy

Phew.....the past week has been a busy one. The pace at work has picked up and my social calendar has been kept pretty filled as well. Had after work drinks with some friends on Tuesday. The French Film & Arts Festival is back in town so from Thursday onwards I have been having a movie marathon trying to catch as many of the movies as possible. A few friends are also back in town, so was spending time catching up with them. All in all I have been kept pretty much on my feet the whole week!

Busy is good for me. I am tired of fighting the way I feel. The feeling of discontent. The empty hollow feeling inside. I figured given time I will be back to normal but meanwhile, I might as well keep myself busy. I have already exhausted all the questions to be asked. The "whys", the "whats", the "what ifs".

Today has been quieter. Had lunch with friends, helped a friend out with some legal stuff and then it was back home. Some quiet time is good. Gives me some time to work on my project and figure other stuff out. I like to spend it catching up on my television series, reading up on the latest news and finding articles in The Elite Daily to motivate me.

Anyways, this is all from me for now. Back to browsing the web. Trying to create a style board!

What's the worst that could happen?

Yesterday I was asked to do something by my brother-in-law. He is a life coach and I asked him if 36 years old was too old to start something new (I know this is kinda contradictory to the theme of my post yesterday). This was his reply :-

"Grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Write down all the pros on one side and cons on the other. If you think that the pros are worth it, stuff it just do it. For someone who is still living at home with no kids and no commitments, it's a no brainer Deb! What's the worst that can happen? It's not as if mum and dad will kick you out if you failed."

Wise words indeed from a wise one. Which is true. What have I got to lose right? And didn't I just preach yesterday about the value of chasing after your dreams because you only live once?

PROS	CONS
·           My work will be my passion. ·           I work for myself and not for someone else. ·           For now it is something that I can work on while working full time.	·           No security of having a fixed income. ·           Not sure if the concept is something that will work in Malaysia.

It's a very short list of pros and cons. And the fact that I am single with not much financial obligations kinda makes it an easy choice to make. Well, I have actually started working on it but the going is slow at the moment.

Anyways, here is how the rest of the conversation went, picking up from his earlier question of "What's the worst that can happen?" :-

Me : I think it is more of a presonal disappointment thing. 

BIL : WHen you are on your death bed, what will you be saying to yourself?

Me : I wish I had tried?

BIL : Whats going to be the disappointment then?

Me : You make a good point.

BIL : Then what's your excuse now? As Yoda said, There is Will or Will Not. There is no Try.

Me : Sometimes we all need to be pushed.

BIL : Starts with you knowing with crystal clarity who you want to be in 10 years. Describe it in the present tense. Try it.

So here goes. Here is how I would describe myself when I am 46 years old.

I am still a feisty Scorpion who is living the life of her dreams. I am not wealthy in material things, but I am living a life which is rich in so many ways. I have a life which is rich in experiences. I have been fortunate enough to travel the world, more than most people have been given the chance. I have been knocked down so many times but I have always picked myself up and came out the better for it. I have a business that I love. I dared to chase my dream and am now one of those fortunate few whose work and passion are the same. I am living in the city of my dreams. I finally don't feel like a square peg in a round hole anymore. I am finally where I belong. I share my life with a partner that complements me well. He lets me be me and I never had to change who I am to be with him. I am at a point in my life where I have never been more sure of myself. Of what I want. It was not an easy road getting here. I won't lie. There were moments where I felt like giving up. The journey to achieving your dreams is never an easy one. It is hard work but the rewards are well worth the sweat and tears. There were plenty of heartbreak before I met the right guy for me. Finding a partner who is right for you is not an easy task either. It is a fine line between compromising yourself to fit the guy or compromising with the guy to make the relationship work. There were times when I was so disappointed with life that I thought "Is this as good as it gets?" The answer is no. So I am here to tell you. Don't give up. The road to happiness is not easy. But it is well worth it. 

Life was meant for living

Life was meant for living. 
Live life to the fullest.

You only live once. 

Live life with no regrets. 

Live like there is no tomorrow.

All the above are sayings or quotes that are meant to remind you that life is short and I am sure that you have come across one or all of it at some point in your life. 

"Life was meant for living" is actually engraved on my Ipad and "Live  life to the fullest" is engraved on my Ipod. I guess that is why my nature can be impulsive at times. Just like Nike, I always tell people "JUST DO IT" - but of course only in the right situation. If I am ever uncertain about a decision, I would rather take a chance and go for it. If I were to hold back I would then be left wondering "What if?". Life is too short for "what ifs".

What stops a person from doing something? Is it a fear of failure? Is it because you are in a comfort zone and you are afraid to step out of it for better or for worse? Is it because of an adversity to risk? Well, the one thing that I have learned after 36 years of life is that there are no guarantees in life. There is no such thing as a "sure thing". You may succeed in some of your ventures or you may fail. But at least you tried, right? With every attempt, even when you fail, it is an experience. What matters is what you take away with you from the whole experience. There is a lesson to be learnt in every failure. And hey, if at first you don't succeed, try and try again, right?

Life is short. I know I may sound morbid but who knows what will happen tomorrow? So, ask yourself "What is the one thing that you have always wanted to do but never had the courage to do?" Is there a secret passion that you have always wanted to indulge in but was always to0 shy to do so (and I am not talking about anything kinky a la Fifty Shades of Grey)? Is there someone that you have always wanted to approach but never had the guts to? Is there someone that you need to make amends with but have never done so? Ultimately, is there anything that you will regret not doing?

You only have one life - LIVE IT!

Two months down the road.....

It's two months down the road after the break up and I still find myself discovering and learning new things. Today while talking to a friend I realised that I never actually acknowledged or admitted to myself that the way he treated me after the break up hurt me. I knew that the break up hurt. That I was hurt by him walking away from the relationship so easily, but I never acknowledged the fact that the way he treated me after the break up hurt me as well. For some reason it never sunk in that once you have broken up that person still has the power to hurt you. But they still can. It hurts to have someone who once seemed to care so much about you treat you so badly after you are no longer together. I guess acknowledging that is another piece of the puzzle falling into place.

Today instead of letting things get me down I decided to look at the positive side of things. Making lemonade out of lemons right? Instead of thinking about the break up, I should be glad that I am capable of loving someone. I always tell my friends, it is better to have loved and hurt than to have never loved at all. Instead of thinking of why did I let myself get hurt again, I should be proud that I still have faith in love and relationships to always keep trying. Instead of feeling like a fool for falling for him,  I should applaud myself for taking a chance on him. It takes courage to love someone and to open yourself up to them completely.

Who knows, the right guy may be around the corner. Or he may not be. I may meet plenty more of Mr. Wrongs before I meet my Mr. Right. All I know is I am excited about the adventures that awaits me.